Body Language During Dating
Whether you’ve just met the person, or they are someone you’re reuniting with, there’s going to be plenty of anxiety present on the first date. Even if it’s the first date all over again. Reading body language is key here, because it’s often in what’s not said that you can tell whether you’ve been successful in your attempt to impress the other person. Even if you previously dated this person, you may have missed on all the bodily signals that they gave off, which may even have been why it ended in the first place. Wouldn’t it have been wonderful if you knew just by paying attention to body mechanics how that person felt? Treat this date as the very first time you have ever seen this person, and pay close attention.
To keep things fair here, the terms he/she will be used interchangeably.
Here’s the first one to look for.
- If she’s playing coy, and not really being shy, she will look at the floor and grin. If she’s shy, she will just barely meet your eyes first, possibly blush, and then look away.
- If he’s shaking his legs, bouncing them as he’s seated, he’s nervous in a good way, anxious for something to happen.
- If she bites the corner of her lip, she considering something she feels is daring, and is wondering if she should tell you.
- If he crosses his leg in your direction rather than away from you, it’s a sign he’s unafraid of the closeness, and unconsciously feels a connection.
- Crossed arms in either sex are a sign of being closed off, intractable and keeping up a wall.
- Keeping shoulders held back, and your chin up shows either confidence, or arrogance depending on the circumstance.Check out this extensive list of body language basics to brush up on before that big date. There are some things however that are gender specific.
Men, this is what to watch for on your dates:
- Watch her eyes. If she’s interested in you, she’s going to be looking at every single part of you, and she might even let you “catch” her in the act. If she repeats eye contact and smiles at you, that’s an invitation.
- Facial expressions are important. They’ll be more animated if they’re interested, and more deadpan if she finds you boring. Raising of the eyebrows is a good sign, generally in positive light. If she’s chewing on her lips, she’s probably unconsciously doing it to draw attention to her mouth, or another likelihood is that she’s excited or aroused, which tends to make the mouth dry. Both are good. If her pupils are dilated, and she hasn’t seen an eye doctor recently, and she’s not standing in the dark, she’s interested. Pupil dilation is a sign of sexual attraction at it’s rawest. If she’s blinking faster, that’s also a sign she’s interested… and that she’s flirting. If her nostrils flare, it means she is aroused or excited and a genuine sign that she’s interested.
- If she touches you on the hand or arm, and immediately returns it toward her chest area, that too is a sign of interest.
- Women will always play with their hair at some point. If she is twirling a strand around a finger gently, without thinking, or running her fingers through it, she is VERY interested. If it’s fast or hard movements, she’s either feeling embarrassed, impatient, or looking for an escape. Try to come on a little less strong, and be sure you’re letting her have time to speak.
- An interested woman plays with her jewelry, touch parts of their body, or play with a glass. They fidget. If she’s touching herself in any place that isn’t obvious the meaning of, such as her collarbone area, it’s a signal that she wants you. When she is fidgeting with jewelry or her phone or any other object, she is expressing nervous excitement. Same goes for a bouncing leg under the table. If however, she is tapping her water glass with a stern lip line, she’s not happy to be there.
Ladies this is what to watch for in your potential partner during a date:
- As with the previous, watch his face. If he tilts his head just barely when he looks at you, he’s showing you he likes you. Look for him to rapidly flash his eyebrows up the moment he looks at you. (they don’t stay raised, just a quick jump up, then back down) Watch for his nostrils to flare slightly, it’s a sign he’s attracted to you and open to you.
- Watch his smile. Men usually use one of three kinds. There’s the first variety which is a half smile and looks like trouble. He’s telling you he only wants something physical, while trying to appear alluring enough to make it worth your time. The second is closed mouth smile, he’s either shy or at a minimum, open enough to show you he’s into you. The third is an open mouth smile, bright and genuine, and he’s looking to dazzle you.
- Pay attention to eye contact. He won’t be afraid to keep a gaze lock with you if he’s into you after a few dates.
- If he’s interested in you, he will keep his chest and shoulders pointing your direction, regardless the direction his head moves. The same works for his pelvis, they’re two strong areas for men and a proprietary sense that “this is mine” by pointing toward what they desire to keep.
- Watch his legs. Feet apart means he’s trying to show off and look powerful for you. If he has one slightly behind the other, or one foot is tapping, he is probably not paying attention, and is not that interested.
- Hands on hips is another sign of him showing off his prowess, and if he loops his fingers through his belt loops it’s a subconscious way for him to get your eyes to roam there.
Body language is huge for both genders, and a lot can be missed if you’re not paying attention. By noticing the little things, it paves the way toward noticing much more to be appreciative for when all the dates go well.