Reclaim the LOVE of your Life

Being Alone Is Not The Same As Being Lonely

Not every couple makes it down the aisle, or hears the promise of forever.  Some end up growing apart, others find they just cannot reconcile something between them. Sometimes saving your marriage just isn’t in the cards, and you’re faced with how to deal with a broken heart, or how to cope with a break up you never saw coming. Whatever the cause, there are plenty of people in the world for whom being single is just the norm.  Being alone though, doesn’t mean you’re lonely.  The two words get thrown around in conversation interchangeably as though they mean the same thing but they have very different connotations. Moving on after a breakup, it’s important to realize the difference between being alone and being lonely.

For one thing, being alone is actually really enjoyable. It’s being independent and doing whatever you want, whenever you want.  Barring work, where you’re ALSO not alone, you can do whatever you please because that’s a perk of being a grown person.  If you have found yourself suddenly alone however, sometimes there’s things you should do to help stop the white noise in your head.  10 Toxic-Habits That Drain Your Energy written by Marc and Angel  helps discuss things that you might be holding onto that are making you feel more lonely, and not just alone.  Be sure to check the sidebar as well, because the blog contains plenty of helpful tips to keep your chin up no matter what comes your way.  Being alone is great for anyone with a hobby, because it means you can just close a door, create an environment and do what you love the most without interference.  Being alone is a choice, and it’s solution is equally easy.  Leave! Just leave the house and go anywhere.  You can sit at a park bench and people watch, observe all the strange nuances that makes humanity so unique. You can go to the beach, river, or lake and just listen to the water.  You can call up a friend to go fishing, hiking, camping.  Being alone is very easy to fix if you want it to be.

Being lonely is entirely different.  You can be in a crowded room, a party, a family dinner, or a concert and still feel lonely. You feel an emptiness in your heart, like a wide open yawning abyss of blackness where something just ought to be but isn’t.  You yearn for a warm touch, but not just anyone’s, you long to snuggle up in bed and watch a movie, but not just with anyone.  You’re seeking a mate, and it gets to a point that it’s painful.  The good news here amidst the bleakness is that this is not permanent unless you choose it.  Life is not good about doing things on your schedule, or what works best for you.  Just when all is going perfectly and it seems like you’ve finally got your cards stacked just right, life comes along and blows down the lot of them.  The thing to take from this is, there’s no perfect time for anything in life.  There’s optimal moments for things, but if you don’t capitalize on those moments, you get nothing.  You have to choose what’s important to you and what is worth fighting for despite the odds.  If love is what you crave, and partnership is something that is making you feel lonely, then you must set about getting that right, no matter the imposition it may bring to your life at present.  A partner will be there during the hard times, they won’t be your burden to carry, but to help you carry your own.  They will be the one you look back on the rough times with and smile knowing that they were there for you in a world that can be rough sailing.

To divine the difference between the two, there’s a fantastic site out there that you can find here. it is an Institute whose sole mission (as written on their homepage www.webofloneliness.org) is “To Reduce Loneliness Globally Through Awareness Building, Research, Iintervention, and Consulting”. It may be enough to realize that you’re not the only one going through a hard time, whether you’re alone, lonely or something even more than that. While being alone is the easier of the two to fix, being lonely is not unfix-able, it just takes a bit more time and a lot of due diligence, and putting aside things we may have thought were more important at the time.  But we as human beings, desire to be loved, we desire a partner for life, to share with, laugh with, and grow old with. Remember that anything worth having takes time, and the desire to fight for it.

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